Do You Remember These - The Statler Bros.

Dreaming of Cheeseburgers

I think sleep is going to be hard to achieve tonight. They tell me to be at the hospital by 530 am to prepare for surgery at 730. I'll give it a whirl though . Maybe drop a zopiclone or two. Tomorrow will bring with it a lot of unknowns, and I have to admit my mind is beginning to contemplate all the different scenarios. I'm grateful that Dr Dixon has been preceded by his reputation. They tell me I'm in good hands.

All day its been chicken or beef broth, pepsi, gaterade and jello. When you've been a meat and veggy eater for so long as I have you can understand the torture I'm going through. Its tempting when you're at the fridge door, but Ohh I better not.. This close and all. ( yeah but ,, just a nibble on that cookie)( I said NO)

So Im checking over all the paperwork I've been given, and believe me there's quite a bit of it. The consent forms, the clinical trial forms, the surveys, the insurance forms, all the procedure forms , what to bring, what not to bring and so on. I shoulda made a checklist.. Better buckle up, its getting close to show time.

My family keeps me in line and Hollys coming down tonight to keep me focused. Thanks to everyone who sent me a card or a note wishing me a speedy recovery. They were very much appreciated.

Its only an illusion

I believe it was Einstein who said "physicists believe the separation between past, present and future is only an illusion, albeit a convincing one. It was a testament to his faith when he consoled the family of a departed friend. It only furthers my belief in how intricate and interwoven life as we know it is..

It's four days before I give myself up to the skilled hands of my surgeon. My blood's been typed and my wrist banded. Read up on all that I need to know, and I suppose other than the apprehension and the fear of the unknown, its a go.

I've stopped asking why me , and decided to put my faith in God and let Him guide the hands of the gallant warriors , who battle this disease day in and day out. If my will to be here for awhile prevails and it helps at all, so much the better..

Faith

Well here I'll let you talk to him yourself.. I take the phone thinking , its the surgeons office. Sure enough, she asks "Is this John ?" "It's Nicole from Dr Dixons office " She goes on to say its not '

much, but it's a few days sooner. There's been a cancellation on November 24 and would I like to move my date ahead . So I reply that if its not at the expense of someone else I'll take it. So now it appears my date with the doc is nov 24 instead of nov 28.. She'll keep trying for sooner she assures me and wants to know if everything that was to done is done. I have faith in these people.

All Things are Connected

O God, who gave to St. Peregrine an Angel for his companion, the Mother of God for his Teacher, and Jesus as the Physician of his malady, grant we beseech You through his merits that we may on earth intensely love our Holy Angel, the blessed Virgin Mary, and our Saviour, and in Him bless them forever. Grant that we may receive the favor which we now petition. We ask this through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.

crossed fingers

Check the caller ID and I don't recognize the number. Better answer I guess, might be them.

Sure enough she asks for me , I confess , and she tells me shes calling from Dr Dixon's office.

First thought that comes , "a new date for surgery". Nope, she goes on to ask me if I've given any thought to the trial procedure that the Doctor is heading up. It involves reattaching the pancreas to the stomach rather than the duodenum in an effort to minimize leakage. Caught me off guard. I would have liked an earlier date.

My last go round with my lung, I volunteered for a clinical trial, and it probably saved my life.

(it was inoperable) But for whatever reason, I'm apprehensive this time and I don't know why.

They also want tissue samples for a separate trial . That's no big deal I guess. When your mind

is occupied with so many things its hard to focus on what kind of legacy you might be able to leave for future patients. It's probably the right thing to do. They work in the philosophy that nothing will ever be done that will jeopardize me or the operation. Someone needs to point me in the right direction,

So when I asked if there was any chance of an earlier day, she replies that its noted on my file

"earlier date necessary" So my fingers are crossed, and that if it happens it wont come at the expense of somebody else.

Whipple--All you need to know and more

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pancreaticoduodenectomy

Support Team

So today was pre op day..Met a few nurses, an internest, anesthesiologist and his trainee .. Have to say that all were the best of nice people. Had explained to me way more than I could absorb, so I'm grateful for my support staff above who asked my questions and took my notes.

Whipple

Its an easy drive to the Foothills. So we're early . Up to the reception behind a guy checking in with Dr Dixon, same doc as me. We wait til 9:00, my time, and of course it comes and goes. Nurse comes out shortly after looking for the guy who was in front of me, he's gone. I've seen it before.

A few minutes later she calls my name .. Into one of the little rooms we go and get set for another wait. Not 5 minutes go by and in he comes.

He feels pretty confident, and starts to draw what he wants to do. its called the whipple, and it involves removing part my pancreas with the tumour and re hooking it up to the stomach and/or the duodenum. part of my stomach goes so he says Im going to lose about 15 pounds or so that I wont get back. For me this is all Good news. He offers me a trial for reattaching the pancreas that I'll think about. He lays out a lot of the risks involved and what I can expect for the next two weeks. The nurse follows him with more opportunities for clinical trials and the blood work paperwork.

Next up , more paper work then a 4 hour visit with the anesthetic doc. Wait for the call from the surgeon (Dr Dixon ) for an operating room. I'll only need it for 5 or 6 hours.

Well the ball is rolling.

Life is so fragile . We forget that sometimes..

I think that when our Divine Creator chose the way to begin life , His infinite genius made things so complex and yet so methodical and orderly that all things were interlaced with all things. Life begins as a result of an interaction in all living things ; and when we search for meaning , the answer is never very far , when you open your mind and let it find you. The beauty of all things created by God is there for you and your soul to behold and witness. On the times when you don’t see it you lose a bit of yourself.But its always there for you to take back.

When we were given our station in this magnificent world , we were gave all the amenities , the resources and intelligence to sustain our selves and to prosper. What He chose not to give was immortality. How we lived and reacted with our fellow man determined how long we had before He called you home. He gave us clues and brilliant minds to find all the cures for all the ills that befall us as we travel through our life. Many are still out there to discover .All the comforts we have were destined to be found.. But there was never a guarantee He would see you through to a magic number that was meant just for you . A lifetime can be any amount of time. but never infinite.

So when my Brother in law Stan passed away, I dare not call it pre ordained , but rather on the frailties of our bodies . life can be so very fragile that when it stumbles because of a weak heart
and there is no one there to try and keep life sustained ,the soul must move on to the next stage
of its intended path. Stan was a good man and he will rest in peace of that I am sure. His place
beyond this mortal earth is full of peace and goodness. May God take him and give him his place in heaven..

"Home Sweet Home'

Its saturday afternoon and these cramps just are not going anywhere. Make a call to health link and after a nice thorough chat she arranges an appointment at a night clinic that my doctor belongs to.

Plug the meter and I'm in. A genuine nice young doc from South Africa , been here about a year, checks me out. A few pokes here and there , a few deep breaths and hes pretty sure because of the timing its Gall bladderish.. Tylonol 3 and oh some good nasal sprays for my gunky nose that's always plugged.

Four tylonol 3's later and nothing is feeling good. I gotta try something else.. Its my last resort, the peter lougheed emergency. Quarter to ten saturday night, find a comfortable chair , Val beside me looking so worn out ( Stan passed away from a heart attack today at 57 ) Such a hard day for her.

Its 1:30 they call me up for the prelimenaries the ekg the blood work..and send me back out. Its about 3 am and the blood works is back , one of the enzymes the lypase i think is way too high, its 800 when it should be 60 or so . It points them to the pancreas. they think it was a reaction from the needle poke from last Monday. A few xrays and im waiting to be admitted for a bed. About 10:00 on sunday im on the 4th floor in a private room with a view. Hooked up for fluids only to replace the electrolytes and to sock in the morphine. nothing but ice chips til monday morning.Val and Holly keep me occupied and was so glad to have that.

Everyone on the floor is nice , courteous and helpful. The pain slowly becomes tolerable and im eating light food. The hospital is no place to sleep so when they send me home monday afternoon Im looking forward to my own bed. Next up a meeting with the surgeon Friday at 9am ."Home sweet Home"

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.


Albert Einstein

24 hour suspension

4th floor @ the foothills hospital, down to the end of a long hallway. its like a mini ward full of beds with people either waiting to begin or waiting to go home. Two cancellations means Im not in the place for more than a few minutes and Im up. I get a nice young fellow explaining as much as he can while he hooks me up for an iv. he tells me what to expect like a sore throat and so on.

So im in bed with my nice gown for maybe a minute and along she comes, undoes the brake and im on the way. Its a cozy room with the GI , 2 other guys and a couple maybe three nurses. A few more instructions and the sedative sends me to lala land. I wake during the deal and feel myself starting to gag. A nurse sucks the water out and i doze off a little deeper.

Next thing Im back where I began waiting to get up. the nurse says to sleep a little , so I do. The GI wakes me and gives me the lowdown. Successful biopsy he says along with his thoughts on what he thinks.

I get my pants on and I'm gone.. No driving for 24 hours they tell. Im legally impaired.

No regrets

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it and if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it."

Go easy

Well things are starting to move along.
It's two more days till they do an endoscopic ultrasound and take a tissue
sample from the growth at the end of my pancreas . Going to be a three hour deal at
the foothills on Monday. Then another week of waiting to see the results.The in between time kind of wears on you.

Doc Hafaz says the best he can offer right now is to stay active and focus on the positive, that and another fill on my zopiclone. Oh and if I want he gives me a pill that offers about two hours of peace and calm. Go easy he says , they are addictive.
So we'll see. Maybe.

Outrageous parking

Strangely enough I overslept a little. Thank you Zopiclone.

As I drive onto the foothills hospital site, old memories from 6 years ago start to
come back. It's a place that I really didn't want to see again.
Yep same area as that time long ago . only this time its Dr Elijah Dixon ( with a long list of credentials plus assoc professor of surgery and oncology ) instead of Dr Grondin ( the hotshot surgeon out of Boston)

Hes busy so I see his assistant a young woman ( Dr Julie leeds ?) I answer all her questions and she kind of lays the situation on the table. Heres what were facing and heres how we get to the pancreas etc. She hasn't seen the scan yet ,so she leaves us to try and bring it up on her computer.

A few minutes later shes back with Dr Dixon. He too lays it out there of what to exoect. If its new, its surgery and if its from the lung its chemo and radiation therapy. its even possible that its still pre cancerous. So they write up the requisition for the biopsy. They stamp URGENT on it and someone writes "very" on top of it. I ask what that means, and the lady says Oh it might get them to move a little quicker.

So back to waiting for the phone call with a date.

With a little help from God..

$10.50 for 3 hours parking.. thats robbery

The Lougheed

Busy day at the lougheed today. When a nurse hooks you up for the iv solution before you go into the ct room. I asked her if I was her first, she said no ..Second.. I paid for that I think,, my arm is still sore.. in and out on time.
next up, a meeting with the surgeon next Tuesday.

company

You wait for the phonecall or the letter in the mail, telling me where to go for my next scan, the one that will concentrate on a specific area. I'm feeling good so I dont know if I want them to hurry up or take their time? Its the anxiety and lack of sleep that drives my restlessness.Not being alone is comforting.

Big Brother

I think I kind of knew this day would come. I had hoped it wouldn't be for awhile yet. It seems that every time i'd go to see Dr Pinilla he always had good news for me. Today when he walked in I knew that it would be different. So when you hear news that you didn't really want to hear it takes a bit of time before you acccept the fact hes talking to you about you. Nothing is for sure he says until we have a closer look. so that means another scan in the near future. The tech who phoned him says he cant be certain but its a tumour about 3 cm long. A month ago the doc in the clinic says about 1/4 of an inch. Tech says it might be a rare type of growth but he cant be sure. So its back to the anxiety that you hate having but cant do anything about. Waiting for the phonecall to report to high River or Canmore for another ct scan. Then the biopsy.. Big Brother on tonight, that will occupy for a bit..hope shelly goes home.

Hope

July 15, 2011

With the help of God.

World Builder from BranitVFX on Vimeo.

This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing.. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed. Here goes...

My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car. He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in:
"Oh, bull shit!" she said. "He hit a horse."
"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines, would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none.. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.

But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one." It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

But, sure enough, my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.

It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother. So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying more than once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage. (Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church.
She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.

If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"

"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.
"No left turns," he said.
"What?" I asked.
"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic. As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."
"What?" I said again.
"No left turns," he said. "Think about it.. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."
"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support.
"No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works."
But then she added: "Except when your father loses count."
I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.
"Loses count?" I asked.
"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."
I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.
"No," he said " If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."
My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90. She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.

They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.

A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."
"You're probably right," I said.
"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.
"Because you're 102 years old," I said.
"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.

He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said: "I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet"

An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:
"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have."

A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.

I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life, or because he quit taking left turns.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it and if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it."



ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!

The following diet and health program was developed for employees and dependents of General Motors, Inc. and is intended for their exclusive use. This program was developed in conjunction with a grant from U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Food and Drug Administration. It was field tested at the Johns Hopkins Research Centre and was approved for distribution by the Board of Directors, General Motors Corp. at a general meeting on August 15, 1985. General Motors Corp. wholly endorses this program and is making it available to all employees and families. This program will be available at all General Motors Food Service Facilities. It is management's intention to facilitate a wellness and fitness program for everyone.

This program is designed for a target weight loss of 10-17 lbs per week. It will also improve your attitudes and emotions because of its cleansing systematic effects.

The effectiveness of this seven day plan is that the food eaten burn more calories than they give to the body in caloric value.

This plan can be used as often as you like without any fear of complications. It is designed to flush your system of impurities and give you a feeling of well being. After seven days you will begin to feel lighter because you will be lighter by at least 10 lbs. You will have an abundance of energy and an improved disposition.

During the first seven days you must abstain from all alcohol
You must drink 10 glasses of water each day Day One All fruits except bananas. Your first day will consist of all the fruits you want. It is strongly suggested that you consume lots of melons the first day. Especially watermelon and a loupe. If you limit your fruit consumption to melons, your chances of losing three lbs. on first day are very good.

Day Two All vegetables. You are encouraged to eat until you are stuffed with all the raw or cooked vegetables of your choice. There is no limit on the amount or type. For your complex carbohydrate, you will start day two with a large baked potato for breakfast. You may top the potato with one pat of butter.

Day Three A mixture of fruits and vegetables of your choice. Any amount, any quantity. No bananas yet. No potatoes today.

Day Four Bananas and milk. Today you will eat as many as eight bananas and drink three glasses of milk. This will be combined with the special soup which may be eaten in limited quantities.

Day Five Today is feast day. You will eat beef and tomatoes. Eat two 10 oz. portions of lean beef. Hamburger is OK. Combine this with six whole tomatoes. On day five you must increase your water intake by one quart. This is to cleanse your system of the uric acid you will be producing.

Day Six Beef and vegetables. Today you may eat an unlimited amount of beef and vegetables. Eat to your hearts content.

Day Seven Today your food intake will consist of brown rice, fruit juices and all the vegetables you care to consume.



Tomorrow morning you will be 10-17 lbs. lighter than one week ago. If you desire further weight loss, repeat the program again. You may repeat this program as often as you like, however, it is suggested that you are allowed two glasses of white wine in addition to the instructions on the program. You may substitute champagne for white wine. Under no circumstances are you to drink any other alcoholic beverages with the exception of beer which is allowed. Any liquor (bourbon,vodka, rum) is forbidden. Cream drinks are especially forbidden. You may have an occasional cordial such as creme de menthe or schnapps, but you must always limit yourself to two drinks. If you wine, drink only wine that day. If you have beer, drink only beer that day, etc. Alcohol adds empty calories to your diet. However, after the first week it will help your digestion and settle your stomach.

G.M.'S Wonder Soup

The following soup is intended as a supplement to your diet. It can be eaten any time of the day in virtually unlimited quantities. You are encouraged to consume large quantities of this soup.

28 oz, Water, 6 Large Onions, 2 Green Peppers, Whole Tomatoes (fresh or canned), 1 Head Cabbage, 1 Bunch Celery, 4 Envelopes Lipton Onion Soup Mix, Herbs and Flavouring as desired.

Additional Comments

Vegetables as may be taken in the form of a salad if desired. No dressing except malt, white or wine vinegar, squeezed lemon, garlic, herbs. No more than one tea spoon of oil.

You have been given a recipe for the WONDER SOUP which can be eaten in unlimited quantities. This soup is a supplement while you are on the program and it should be a pleasure to eat. Not everyone likes cabbage, green peppers, calory etc. This recipe is not inflexible. You may substitute vegetables according to your taste. You may add any vegetables you like: asparagus, peas, corn, turnips, green beans, cauliflower, etc. Try to stay away from beans (lima, pinto, kidney, etc.), however, because they tend to be high in calories even though they are very good for you.

Beverages you may consume while on the program :

Water (flavoured with lemon/lime if desired).
Club Soda is OK.
Black Coffee. No cream or cream substitute. No sugar or sweetness.
Black Tea = Herb or Leaf.
Absolutely nothing else except the fruit juices which are part of day seven. No fruit juices before day seven.
How and Why It Works

Day One you are preparing your system for the upcoming programme. Your only source of nutrition is fresh or canned fruits. Fruits are nature's perfect food. They provide everything you could possibly want to sustain life except total balance and variety.

Day Two starts with a fix of complex carbo-hydrates coupled with an oil dose. This is taken in the morning for energy and balance. The rest of day two consists of vegetables which are virtually calorie free and provide essential nutrients and fibre.

Day Three eliminates the potato because you get your carbohydrates from the fruits. You system is now prepared to start burning excess pounds. You will still have cravings which should start to diminish by day four.

Day Four, bananas, milk and soup sound the strangest and least desirable. You're in for a surprise. You probably will not eat all the bananas allowed. But they are there for the potassium you have lost and the sodium you may have missed the past three days. You will notice a definite loss of desire for sweets. You will be surprised how easy this day will go.

Day Five, Beef and tomatoes. The beef is for iron and proteins, the tomatoes are for digestion and fibre. Lots and lots of water purifies your system. You should notice colourless urine today. Your allowance calls for the equivalent of five "quarter ponders". Do not feel you have to eat all this beef. You must eat the six tomatoes.

Day Six is similar to day five, Iron and proteins from beef, Vitamins and fibre from vegetables. By now your system is in a total weight loss inclination. There should be a noticeable difference in the way you look today, compared to day one.

Day Seven finished off the program like a good cigar used to finish off Victorian meals, except much healthier. You have your system under control and it should thank you for the flushing and cleaning you just gave it.